Servicemen Targetted For Wearing Uniforms

[Fulham Broadway 16,845]

Probably heard about this in Peterborough ?

The Daily Mash take on it

RAF TO BOMB PETERBOROUGH BACK TO STONE AGE ;

PETERBOROUGH was today bracing itself for wave after wave of devastating raids by low-flying Tornado fighter-bombers.

How Peterborough's magnificent 12th Century cathedral will look to the boys of 4-2 Squadron

The historic cathedral city has been targeted by RAF chiefs after air force personnel were called names by some students.

Air Chief Marshall Sir Tom Logan said: "Our brave airmen have been subjected to ill-considered taunts from some of Peterborough's most fanatical and determined Guardian readers.

"We could simply ignore them and go about our business, but that would send the wrong message to our enemies in Iraq, Afghanistan and France."

The raid will be carried out by a formation of six Tornadoes each carrying a 200 pound Geronimo, laser-targeted bomb, also known as the 'Cathedraliser'.

Many people have already evacuated, although a Guardian-reading hardcore has pledged to shout incisive criticism at the planes as they unleash fiery death.

Sir Tom added: "Thanks to the cutting edge technology of today's RAF, this charming, provincial city with its treasured medieval architecture will be a smouldering husk by around tea time.

"Peterborough has made its date with destiny. I would strongly advise its citizens to flee to Grantham. If you're going via the A1, there's a lovely tearoom at Woolsthorpe."

[Fulham Broadway 16,845]

and heres one for CM

GLASGOW UNVEILS COMMONWEALTH BID LOGO

HE encapsulates modern Glasgow and extends a warm Scottish welcome to the world: He's Mungo the Shit-Faced Octopus.

Mungo the Shit-Faced OctopusGlasgow City Council yesterday unveiled the £1.2 million logo which they hope will charm and excite the Commonwealth Games selection committee.

"Ten years ago we might have gone for a little Scottie dog or maybe even a cheeky wee haggis," said a council spokesman.

"The fact that we've chosen a shit-faced octopus shows just how much Glasgow has embraced the 21st Century."

Wayne Hayes, of design company Conceptomatix, explained the thinking behind the new brand.

"He's called Mungo, because Mungo is the name of our managing director.

"He's blue because of Glasgow's proud maritime tradition. He's under water because for millions of years the Glasgow area was completely submerged. He has eight legs because he's an octopus. And he's shit-faced because he's a Glaswegian octopus."

Conceptomatix is one of the UK's hottest young design agencies. Last year only 38% of their logo designs led to fits and seizures by members of the public.

The Nigerian capital Abuja, Glasgow's rival for the 2014 Games, unveiled its mascot last week. The city is pinning its hopes on 'Pipey', a six foot stretch of the Nigerian State Oil Corporation pipeline.

[changingman2000 35]

and heres one for CM

GLASGOW UNVEILS COMMONWEALTH BID LOGO

HE encapsulates modern Glasgow and extends a warm Scottish welcome to the world: He's Mungo the Shit-Faced Octopus.

Mungo the Shit-Faced OctopusGlasgow City Council yesterday unveiled the £1.2 million logo which they hope will charm and excite the Commonwealth Games selection committee.

"Ten years ago we might have gone for a little Scottie dog or maybe even a cheeky wee haggis," said a council spokesman.

"The fact that we've chosen a shit-faced octopus shows just how much Glasgow has embraced the 21st Century."

Wayne Hayes, of design company Conceptomatix, explained the thinking behind the new brand.

"He's called Mungo, because Mungo is the name of our managing director.

"He's blue because of Glasgow's proud maritime tradition. He's under water because for millions of years the Glasgow area was completely submerged. He has eight legs because he's an octopus. And he's shit-faced because he's a Glaswegian octopus."

Conceptomatix is one of the UK's hottest young design agencies. Last year only 38% of their logo designs led to fits and seizures by members of the public.

The Nigerian capital Abuja, Glasgow's rival for the 2014 Games, unveiled its mascot last week. The city is pinning its hopes on 'Pipey', a six foot stretch of the Nigerian State Oil Corporation pipeline.

Modern Glasgow mate, Modern Glasgow. Forward thinking citizens you see. On the subject of the commonweath games, as Its in the ancient city of Glasgow, we are going to throw in a few 'local' games for the other athletes to try...........Dog fighting, Free style stabbing and long distance vomiting. I think it'll go down a treat myself.