The Axe Effect LOL

[Alee. 182]

Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe

New Delhi.In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal embarrassment forHindustan Unilever Limited (HUL), a 26-year-old man has filed a caseagainst the FMCG company, which owns the Axe brand of men groomingproducts, for 'cheating' and causing him 'mental suffering'. Theplaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at all even thoughhe's been using Axe products for over seven years now. Axeadvertisements suggest that the products help men in instantlyattracting women.

VaibhavBedi, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused andhalf-used deodorant sprays, perfume sticks and roll-ons,anti-perspirants, aftershaves, body washes, shampoos, and hair gels tothe court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products and narcoticstest of the brand managers of Axe. Vaibhav was pushed to take this stepwhen his bai (maid)beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her by appearing nakedin front of her after applying all the Axe products.

No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her

"Where the f**is the Axe effect? I've been waiting for it for over seven years. Rightfrom my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go outfor a tea or coffee with me, even though I'm sure they could smell myperfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always applied them inabundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they show in thetelevision. Finally I thought I'd try to impress my lonely baiwho had an ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over ayear. Axe effect my foot!" Vaibhav expressed his unhappiness.

Vaibhavclaims that he had been using all the Axe products as per the company'sinstructions even since he first bought them. He argued that if hecouldn't experience the Axe effect despite using the products asdirected, either the company was making false claims or selling fakeproducts.

"Ihad always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away fromdirect light or heat. I'd always use a ruler before applying the sprayand make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was atleast 15 centimeters. I'd do everything they told. I even beat up my5-year-old nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed itto keep away from children's reach. And yet, all I get is a broombeating from my ugly bai." Vaibhav expressed his frustration.

Vaibhavclaims that he had to do go a lot of mental suffering and publichumiliation due to the lack of Axe effect and wants HUL to compensatehim for this agony. An advocate in Karkardooma court, who happened tomistake Vaibhav for some deodorant vendor when he entered the courtpremises with all the bottles, has now offered to take up his case inthe court. HUL has been served a legal notice in this regard.

HULhas officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to besub judice, but our sources inform that the company was worried overthe possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Vaibhavwas hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn't possess thebare minimum requirements for the Axe effect to take place. OfficiallyHUL has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that HULcould have tough time convincing the court.

"HULmight be tempted to take that line of argument, but it is very risky.There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive andunintelligent men don't attract women. In fact some of the best lookingwomen have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys. I'dsuggest that the company settles this issue out of court." noted lawyerRam Jhoothmalani said.

Well, its always worked for me

[.Cee 50]

LOL

I'ddo everything they told. I even beat up my5-year-old nephew for comingnear my closet, as they had instructed itto keep away from children'sreach.

*sshole.

[Alee. 182]

Vaibhav was pushed to take this stepwhen his bai (maid)beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her by appearing nakedin front of her after applying all the Axe products.

This is priceless.

[.Cee 50]

Sounds like this man has some SERIOUS issues.

[Drogba11CFC 108]

Sounds like a failed Glenn Quagmire.

[terry26 6]

OMG poor guy - but that's just weird

Sounds like a failed Glenn Quagmire.