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Chelsea Battle Royale


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If there was a battle royale in Chelsea, who would be the last man standing and who would be the first one out?

If you don't know what battle royale is.

It's from a Japanese movie where government captured students and forced them to kill each other.

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The first one to go down would probably be Falcao, he would just jog a little bit while Kurt Zouma chews on his arm.

The final two, in my opinion, would probably be Ivanovic and Costa, with Costa winning the fight, because he is a fucking lunatic.

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was initially thinking it would be about wrestling so would have gone for Branislav..but he`s too slow.the others would catch up or avoid him easily enough.

I`ll go Ramires..run all day and night,i don`t think he would be good at killing others but they would kill each other and the other player left would be too tired to put up much of a fight at the end.

Costa would have the most kills and JT the hardest to kill.

great movie btw,another take on Lord of the Flies...tho wouldn`t want those prone to take ideas from movies too serious to watch it.

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Cuadrado would hit the deck before the game even started.

Ramires would do a lot of running but offer nothing else.

Fabregas will break people down but flat out refuse to ever deliver the finishing shot/blow.

Cahill would back away from all conflicts off a cliff.

Courtois would be sold down the river by Ivanovic.

Matic would spend all his time trying to protect Terry, Ivanovic and Cahill and end up losing because of it.

Hazard would be doing brilliantly before being chopped to the ground by everyone for being too good.

Oscar would be good at the start of the fight, but fade badly.

Willian would be good at the end of the fight, relying entirely on stamina early on.

The final 2 would be the 2 hardest members of our team: Ivanovic and Costa. Costa would be winning but then Mourinho would walk out from behind a tree, shoot Costa in the head and say the immortal words "No-one drops Branislav. Not even me.".

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