OneMoSalah

So I was browsing the internet earlier I came across a so called "Australian joke"..... unsure whether it could be classed as racist in any way or not but I'm hoping it can't for obvious reasons...... Three Aussie guys were working on a high-rise building project - Steve, Bruce and Kevin. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife." Kevin says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Fosters. Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Kev?" "Steve's wife gave it to me," Bruce replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?" "Well not exactly," Kevin said. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'. She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.' And I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Fosters you are'."

I honestly hope not, Robbie's got to have a back up tactic at least. Under AVB when 4-3-3 didn't work, he used 4-3-1-2, putting another striker on and Mata behind them. Also we have to get a proper right back with pace tbh, Branna doesn't look too reliable when a decent ball gets played in behind him and hes left against a speed merchant. Hes not too fast, sitting deep suits him just as much as it suits JT.

I hope I never have to see Malouda play again well not like he usually does anyway, I challenge you Flo to play a bit fucking better.

Robbie needs to switch his formation for this one just to experiment, the 4-2-3-1 hasn't really worked well so far and I think we need to go back to 4-3-3. Brighton are lower opposition than any of the teams we played in pre-season but still they are going to be stubborn and try to stop us. So probably expect 10 men behind the ball when we are on it. As long as Hazard, Marin, Ramires and Lukaku or Torres try to run at their defense a bit more rather than try and pass their way through it we should do a lot better. We just need that bit of "spark" and some decent passes/crosses/dribbles in the final third !

Tbh going on what I've seen so far, if someone on the opposing team follows Hazard around and stops him from turning and going towards their goal, we are fucked. He has been miles ahead of everyone in pre-season. Milessssssssssssssssss. Like litreally Hazard----------------------------------------------------next best player

Mata, Oscar and Sturridge will have to earn their places in the team again and then gel with the players so we will have to wait even longer......... Meireles has played the #10 role for us before, he turned a few times and got a few passes off but I think hes much better as a box to box midfielder where he can pick up on the loose scraps and try and kick start a move for us.

Why have Branna and Ramires especially not looked to run at people with the ball the last 4 games? I seriously hope Moses gets signed, he will fucking run at people no bother at all, also get Hazard on the wing so he can run at people too and put Mata in the center where he can play passes to Torres. We simply can't always break teams down passing them to death, we need some individuals to do something like a trick or a turn or run at people to try and stretch the opponents and open space up for others. If we can get that penetration then we won't do what we did last season, which was struggle against teams who play a low defensive block and counter attack us off of a loose pass/shit touch.

Basically if we can get the double pivot sorted out we should be ok and a new striker (Lewandowski please......... ) Oh and a right back, personally think Maicon would be better at RB than Branna simply because he has pace and is able to take people on when in advanced positions plus he is quick enough to recover when we loose the ball unlike Branna where he has been clearly caught out in pre-season. So what if its pre-season, we've got to be critical still!

We have been shocking in the final third again, Torres and Lukaku both offered nothing. Playing like dirt as well, no point in having the ball the whole time if we can't do anything with it... also Branna has been awful at RB so far.... what has happened ??!?!?1

Oscar and Romeu should be tested in the double pivot at some point, Lamps and Mikel are far too slow........

Does anyone else feel we should get a right back similar in playing style to Cole on left as Ivanovic doesn't look keen on attacking their fullbacks....

Wouldn't necessarily say Lucas said that. His agent, Wagner Ribeiro (spelling?), is apparently a well documented Man United fan.. not sure if its true or not but if it is I'd say hes whispering in the kids ear telling him to go there.

Rumors say we are going to pay Wigan 6.5 million upfront with 3 in add ons for Moses. Then 7 million for Azpilicueta and Rossi would probably be within 10-12 since Villarreal went down, don't think he'll want to stay there. So we'd be paying 25 million max for all 3 ! Would be class business for us, 3 players signed for under 25 million at a top club.

Gussiepi Rossi would be a bargain now that Villarreal got relegated.. would cost 10 million if anything. Sign him, Moses and Azpilicueta, probably cost less than Cavani by himself.

True but I don't think hes anywhere near good enough to be second choice at a team like Chelsea. Maybe play against championship/relegation candidates occasionally but if he was to play against a Fulham, Sunderland or Everton, he would have to have Ramires on the right wing in front of him, dropping back to help him out.

My dream team? In what? Took so long to reply as I feel asleep

Oh yeah so he is, I have faith in Alex to beat you to the Gold!

NO THATS SO MEAN LIKE WHEN I STOLE YOUR 5TH PLACE ON THAT TYPE RACES EARLIER

Art attack was the shit as also said above, Neil Buchanan was god back in the day. Remember coming home from primary school and sitting glued to art attack..... then bashing fuck out of ratchet and clank like a boss

I was watching Daria on VIVA the other day....

Blonde and feisty as fuck, I have no idea mate hahahaha. Anyway yeah its fucking insane going up and down place to place from here!

Is it just me or is it ridiculously easy to become a celebrity by living in Essex, wearing fake tan (if your a bloke) and using gay as fuck words like ream and shadap? Wow never seen anything like that TOWIE shite in my life!! keep seeing TV adverts saying its back.............. was literally sat looking at my screen like this "Da fuq is going on with them people" In all honesty though what dumbcunt allows that shite to air? Also see if you were a guy and you were fake tan in Scotland, you probably wouldn't be alive. Thats how bad it is.

The tackle was good but he should of let Romelu get a goal!!

Always rated Castaignos, has buckets of potential was being hailed as the next Thierry Henry. Pity things didn't work out for him at Inter but he should play at Twente now that Luuk De Jong isnt there. He'll re-emerge at a top club soon if his development goes to plan.

I can no longer compete as I have picked up a repetitive strain injury.... I can just see the news already "team GB's strongest type race candidate injured in freak masturbation accident" I am very disappointed, I might never get another shot at the gold for this. I'm afraid @capriccioso has won the gold for Australia by default............. I mean new South Wales sorry. I am sorry to disappoint all team GB supporters