Melanicus

C'mon Chels! :cfc:

Can someone tell me, what has happened to Čech?

...I'VE REALIZED THAT I DON'T KNOW FRENCH!

That's how I feel right now:

I know "stealing" is bad, because once someone has stolen my video.

The big improvement in method for this update is the inclusion of a baseline from last season for certain statistical categories and an accompanying change in the coloring scheme. The way it goes now is: If the player is new to the team, he gets a yellow background. If the player is performing better in a specific category than last year, he gets a green background. If the player is performing worse in a sprecific category than last year, he gets a red background. To compare how the player is performing compared to the last statistical update, typographic emphasis is used: If the player is performing better in a specific category than last month, he gets bolded. If the player is performing worse in a specific category than last month, he gets italicized. OVERVIEW Our dynamic full back duo Captain Unibrow and Angry Man With A Woman's Name continue to lead the team in appearances and minutes played...the latter of whom would have played every single minutes of every Premier and Champions League match if not for 45 minute cameo of Team Mascot Paulo Ferreira. Frank Lampard continues to play like a man 10 years his junior (can we give credit to AVB here for some stellar man management?), perhaps explaining why Josh McEachran can't get a meaningful game outside of the Carling Cup, while our collection of yellows and reds and starting to overflow the trinket box. One thing is for certain though...we're passing and shooting (although not necessarily "finishing") much better than last year and Branislav Ivanović has had a very nice month statistically, even becoming our highest ranked player in the Castrol Rankings. SHOOTING Daniel Sturridge - SHOOTAH - carries the goalscoring/shooting flag for the team, along with Fernando Torres (maybe that's why he's a bit averse to passing to him?). Florent Malouda & Raul Meireles continue to blast hopelessly from long range, while Ivanovic remains far and away our greatest threat from set pieces. PASSING Oriol Romeu & Juan Mata are your unsurprising leaders in this area, the former of whom sports impressive per-game averages and incredible accuracy with his basic, midfield-engine-room passes. We can see some patterns emerge here as to how our passing has changed from last year: not only have we improved in accuracy, we're passing it a lot more (and not just in our defensive/neutral zone). There's a clear increase in medium length passes (which aim to move the feet of the defense) and an emphasis on direct north-south passing (defenders having a greater preference for forward passes; attackers having a greater preference for backward passes) rather than sideways uselessness. POSSESION Minor formula alterations aside, Juan Mata is still our creativity leader and, along with Frank Lampard, is the only player seemingly capable of consistently (at least 1-in-3) delivering good crosses. Thanks to our recent struggles, a lot of our passing metrics are lagging behind last year's ineffectiveness, although there a few standouts who have clearly played better (Jose Bosingwa , stand up - also Nicolas Anelka and Lampard). Despite the sea of red, the passing mobility metric is mostly green, which is another confirmation of our increased directness this season. And somebody please find the real Florent Malouda and show him some tapes from last season. The man can't be getting much sleep with all that red (neon) glowing in his row. DEFENSE Oriol Romeu provides another bright spot here, along with Branislav Ivanovic...but the rest is not pretty viewing. What Florent Malouda's line is to Possession, Ashley Cole's line is to Defense. Can we start railing on him and leave our favorite Portuguese Defensive Liability to continue his London-wide hunt for some eyebrow tweezers? Just look at those two lines and tell me how we can be so angry with the Unibrow, while largely giving Ash a free pass. Thanks for reading, this article is taken from: http://www.weaintgotnohistory.com/2011/11/3/2532257/chelsea-individual-statistics-october-2011-dont-mess-with-the-unibrow. All credits go to this fantastic website!

Samuel Inkoom got the probably the stupidest red card ever... You must really feel sorry for the guy who didn't come in. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaN51Yk42dk&feature=player_embedded

Haha! Blue is the colour! :cfc:

This! I've been thinking about this too. Barcelona has got Barcelona B, which is on the level of Swansea and it's really good, because they can swap players. Maybe Roman should buy one more club?

Welcome! :cfc:

<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:48px;">F U C K !</span></p>

5 mins to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think we will win 5-0 today.

RAMIREEEEEEEEEEES!!! TORRES PASS!!

ANY STREAMS?

Tommy10 will be special commentator!

We should also use our YouTube channel somehow.

Neymar or Pato - Absolutly Pato for me, he has pace, technique and strenght. Neymar has only technique and pace. Hamsik or Hernanes - No one of them, but If I must, I'll go for Hamsik. Gotze or Moutinho - Absolutly Gotze, young, promising midfielder, with such a great vision. Next Ballack in my opinion. Pastore or Modric - That's joke right? Hulk or Di Maria - That's quite hard. If Hulk wouldn't have crazy buy-out clause, I'd absolutly go for him. He's what we need right now. Higuain or Benzema - Higuain, but we don't need another striker, do we?

Are you sure Barca's tactic will work in PL?

HTC Wildfire S or Samsung Omnia 7? Why?

FUCK YOU BITCH!

pathetic match fuck everything!

FUCK YOU VAN PUSSY!!!