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Joke Thread

Started by jonaaibosk,

338 posts in this topic

Is it True????????????????

Chelsea to sign Suarez !!!!!!!!!!!!

Deal can only be done if we offer Ivanovich as bait !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's the name of a fish made out of two sodium atoms?

2 Na

Jesus Christ, just retire! :lol:

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When I was younger I was constantly bullied. Kids used to cover me in chocolate and throw berries at me.

It was tough growing up in the gateau.


John Travolta has recently set-up his own pepper farm.

It's going well. He's got chillies, they're multiplying.

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A young couple.were having financial problems so the husband talks the wife into prostituting herself to earn some money, she protests that she knows nothing about that kind of thing but he reassures her.
"I'll be your pimp and I'll be standing nearby the whole time, everything will be OK"

So that night she is standing on a street corner and a guy pulls up in a brand new car. He winds the window down.
"How much for full sex?" she asks him to wait and runs round the corner to her husband.
"He wants to know how much"
"Mmm, that's a nice car, ask for £500"
So off she goes but the punter tells her he only has £100, she runs round the corner and her husband says "Tell him for £100 he can have a blow job"

She goes back and tells him and the man agrees, so she gets in the car and he unbuttons his trousers and gets his massive cock out and the woman can't believe her eyes.
"Wow" she says,"wait there"

She runs out of the car and says to her husband. "Don't be a bastard Joe, lend him £400"

babu, Hutcho and CHOULO19 like this

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The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.” The first man said.“You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife,”
The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job.”
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent replies, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

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So Santa lives in the north pole ?

Mmm. Not so sure. Think about it.

He wears red n white. He has all these unaccounted for electrical items. He breaks into houses. He drives an unlicenced vehicle, and the lazy bastard works one day a year.

Yup, youve guessed it the cunts got to be scouse.

CHOULO19 and Peace. like this

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