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Joey Barton to be punished less harshly than man who ate a pie


Joey Barton FA

The FA has confirmed that eating a Cornish Pasty will damage your career more than common assault, placing thousands of bets and taking diving lessons off Tom Daley.

Speaking to reporters, a spokesman for the FA said that having a laugh the one time in your life the cameras are on you brings the good name and reputation of Association Football into disrepute far more than Actual Bodily Harm on a teammate.

Barton, who is hotly tipped to represent England on the 3m diving board at the 2018 Commonwealth games, has twice been convicted of assault without his career being overly derailed – leaving some fans wondering if the fate meted out to Wayne Shaw may not have been a little harsh.

“There’s a clear difference between Joey Barton and Wayne Shaw,” an FA spokesman to us.

“Wayne is a harmless, friendly fat lad who we all feel comfortable bullying, while Joey is quite good at football and great for advertising revenues, merchandising and ticket sales.

“Obviously, it would be entirely unreasonable for his career to be damaged for spending time in prison.

“Besides, we’re all afraid he’ll twat us one next if we say anything.”

Meanwhile, UEFA has confirmed that while Luis Suarez might have taken a bite out of three other players, taking a bite out of a pastry-wrapped mixture of cheap steak and potato on the telly is ‘clearly’ a more severe infraction and a career-ending offenc

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51 minutes ago, kmk108 said:

:doh: From what I've seen of players entering stadiums, that's the last thing they want. Usually have their head down and headphones on so no one bothers them.

Its a bit of a shame that players have changed so much from the Best/Gascoignes of this world. Theyre now more like athletes I suppose. Not getting in till a hour before kickoff still pissed.

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27 minutes ago, BoyBlue96 said:

 

Unbelievable. 9 months after doing the impossible. 

Weren't we a point above relegation when Jose was sacked? And he was also given a vote of confidence shortly before sacking. Eerily similar to how our season went, like some kind of champions curse. Anyway, why now? I don't understand the timing. Unless it was decided before that it will happen after the Sevilla game regardless of result.

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Hmm...you'd think after possibly the greatest feat in English football history (definitely the most surprising, at least), you'd get a full year without being sacked. 

 

Shame he didn't even get to coach the 2nd leg of the CL...

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39 minutes ago, Laylabelle said:

It's bad that this has come so soon after the support statement..doesn't seem much like a decision that has gone down well..

Just like Chels last season. The club also released a statement how they are fully behind Mourinho. Yet a few weeks later, voila, gone.

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