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Football Look-alikes


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The Chelsea Lookalike XI

22 September 2010 /

chapman.jpgDan Fitch picks his Chelsea lookalike XI.

There are some big questions regarding Chelsea at the moment. Will they retain their Premier League title? Do they have what it takes to finally win the Champions League? And most important of all, who would be picked in a Chelsea lookalike XI, playing in a 4-3-3 formation?

Luckily, we are on hand to answer one of those questions.

Goalkeeper - Snoopy AKA Petr Cech

We'd be the first to admit that this resemblance is mainly headgear based.

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Right Back - Scott Baio AKA Paulo Ferreira

Paulo Ferreira no longer enjoys that many Happy Days at right-back.

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Left Back - Norm McDonald AKA Yuri Zhirkov

Both have an equal chance of ousting Ashley Cole from the Chelsea team.

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Centre Back - Kevin Thomson AKA Branislav Ivanovic

If the Scottish international Kevin Thomson had ever appeared in the same Panini album as Ivanovic, it would have caused chaos across many school playgrounds.

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Centre Back - Transsexual Lucy Jones AKA John Terry

The existence of 'Lucy' Jones, means that John Terry never has to bother putting on a woman's wig to see what he'd look like.

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Holding Midfield - Tracy Chapman AKA John Obi Mikel

On his wages, John Obi Mikel probably has a Fast Car.

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Central Midfield - Chris Partlow from The Wire AKA Michael Essien

Both are very dangerous on corners.

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Matt Bellamy from Muse AKA Frank Lampard

Adrian Chiles was probably hoping that he'd be named as Frank Lampard's lookalike, but instead we've gone for Matt Bellamy.

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Right Wing - DMX AKA Nicolas Anelka

Only rappers wear as much bling as Chelsea players.

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Left Wing - Steve Buscemi AKA Yossie Benayoun

Why do I have to be Mr Pink?

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Striker - Caster Semenya AKA Didier Drogba

Can we have another opinion on that sex test please?

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Manager - Alec Baldwin AKA Carlo Ancelotti

In 50 Rock, Baldwin is also in charge of a multi-billion institution.

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Chairman - Father Dougal McGuire AKA Roman Abramovich

That would be an ecumenical matter Mr Abramovich.

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