Vesper

It is very much a shambolic mess atm, I am afraid I always keep faith though, we will come good eventually!

I am HER not a HE, thanks sweetie and I do NOT smoke anything intoxicating I do enjoy a nice Kriek lambic belgisk ale skål!

IF (and I know it is a fairy tale, we DID sell all I listed, that is between £250m and £300m we would get back (rough estimate), and IF we did do the swap deal (Harzard and Courtois) with Real, and got say Asensio, Casemiro (or even Marcus LLorente) and Verane that means we would only have to buy (from my list) Kalidou Koulibaly 70m David Alaba 80m Djibril Sidibé 40m Manu Trigueros 25m Saúl Ñíguez 90m Federico Chiesa 45m Leon Bailey 60m Mattia Perin 40m thats a total of £445m so a net cost of £145 to £195m LESS than what Neymar alone cost that is well within our grasp

In a perfect world........ GOALKEEPER Swap Thibaut Courtois for Jan Oblak, as Courtois is hellbent on returning to Madrid to be with his wife and family CENTRE BACKS Buy Kalidou Koulibaly (finally, been so frustrated for last 2 years, De Laurentis is a rotter, and IMHO, Koulibaly is the best CB in the world, watch the tape, he is INSANE) Alessio Romagnoli Sell Cahill Luiz Zouma (I dont think he will ever be the same after that horrid injury, such a tragedy) Play more Ethan Ampadu Trevoh Chalobah Fikayo Tomori Left Back Buy David Alaba (best fullback in the world, and the Alex Sandro shite is so done, as far as I am concerned) Yes, I know Alaba will cost £80m or so, but is worth it, IF we are going to try and stay in top 5,6,7,8 clubs in the world. If we simply cannot get Alaba, then go in for Sandro (arfff, 3 times) Sell Marcos Alonso (we will never get more for him, and he is COMPLETELY dependent on a 3 CB system as a WB, and if Conte goes, the back 3 may too Right Back Buy Djibril Sidibé or Elseid Hysaj (would prefer Álvaro Odriozola, but Real Madrid is going to grab him) Sell Moses, time to cash in Midfielders Buy Saúl Ñíguez (can use leverage of Courtois for Oblak swap, we so have to get him) or Sergej Milinkovic-Savic (probably out of our price range, as I expect he will go for at least £120m or so, but hej, this is a WISHLIST) Leander Dendoncker (we should have bought him and Goretzka last summer, and now Goretzka is gone to Bayern, where he is going to be a superstar) Manu Trigueros (great passer) Sell EVERYONE BUT KANTE Bakayoko Fabregas Drinkwater Barkley sell them ALL, horrid buys, no clue why we bought this shite (other than Fabregas, and its now or never to sell him for any real quid returned) Right Wingers Federico Chiesa (preferred) or Domenico Berardi Sell Willian Play Charly Musonda more (I think he can be a special player) Left Wingers Buy Leon Bailey Sell Pedro Strikers I REALLY want Mauro icardi (I think he is top 3 striker in world, along with Kane and Lewandowski, who would be a clear number one if he was not 29) I just do not see how we can swing his £120m plus fee he will command, especially with my other massive buys above I guess we roll with Morata (who I still think will come massively good) and Giroud, plus PLAY Callum Hudson-Odoi MORE! Finally lets deal with the potential Hazard nightmare (Real Madrid) If he goes, we HAVE to get Marco Asensio in return plus Raphaël Varane (then remove Romagnoli from my buy list above) We also could add in Courtois and then also demand Casemiro (remove Dendoncker from my list) We then would have to buy another goalkeeper,as Atletico Mardid will not sell Oblak without replacement of Courtois the only ones I would want to buy are one of the following Gianluigi Donnarumma 18 Italy AC Milan Mattia Perin 24 Italy Genoa CFC Alban Lafont 18 France/Burkina Faso FC Toulouse we would line up (if Hazard stays) Goalkeeper Jan Oblak CB César Azpilicueta CB Andreas Christensen CB Kalidou Koulibaly Backups/Swistchouts Romagnoli and Rudiger RWB Djibril Sidibé LWB David Alaba backups Emerson and Zappacosta MF N'Golo Kante MF Saúl Ñíguez Backups Dendoncker, Manu Trigueros RW Federico Chiesa LW Eden Hazard Back ups, switch out Leon Bailey, Charly Musonda Striker Alvaro Morata backups Giroud and Hudson-Odoi IF Hazard leaves, and we also include Courtois in a mega deal with Real then change LW Asensio Goalkeeper one of the 3 I listed above as alternatives to CB Raphaël Varane (then remove Romagnoli from my buy list above) MF Casemiro instead of Dendoncker so there you go, my dream team cheers PS If/When Conte Leaves I REALLY want DIEGO SIMEONE above anyone else, would settle for Joachim Löw or Massimiliano Allegri, hell no to Luis Enrique!