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Vesper

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Posts posted by Vesper

  1. 3 hours ago, Pizy said:

    That Arse XI is shocking, my word. 
     

    As for West Ham now, they still have 3 piss easy fixtures remaining. If things go disastrously for us and Leicester they still have a slim shot if they win all 3.

    it doesn't take a miracle for WH to sneak in

    win v 3 shit teams so at 67

    Leicester lose to us and manure most they can get then is 66

    pool lose to manure most they can get then is 66

    they are 4th, we are 3rd (67 or more) not matter what (barring a 10 nil loss or so)

    pool and Leicester (if those 3 losses occur, 2 for Leicester, one for pool) can only get to 66 points max

  2. 26 minutes ago, Tomo said:

    Not sure why anyone is/was worried about West Ham.

    It's been obvious for weeks they don't have the bollox to see this through. 

    cuz of their weak ass last 3 games, and I was not worried about them v us, I want them to knock out pool and Leicester from the CL

  3. this is not a bad result at all IF the following happen

    1 West Ham win the next 3 (67 points)

    2 Manure beat pool and Leicester

    3  we beat Leicester in the EPL game

    if that happens  the best Leicester and pool can end up on 66 points each

    and the worst we can finish is 67 points (and thus beat west ham for 3rd on GD)

  4. I have mixed emotions about this game

    IF I knew for sure that manure beats Leicester and Pool, and that we win 2 of last 3 (or better yet, all 3)

    I would be for all in for West Ham, as they can knock out Pool and Leicester from next years Cl (the scouse vermin being the big one)

    IF they (West Ham)win this, they could easily win the last 3 (BHA, West Brom, SOTON)

    and finish on 70 points

    we will pip them for 3rd on 70 via GD (for 3rd) with 2 wins and a loss or outright win 3rd with 2 wins and  draw (71) or 3 wins (73)

    having no CL fucks Pool hard, and also Leicester to a point (and they have SO many players I covet, lol)

    PLUS

    West Ham in the CL means (I hope) Rice stays put and doesn't go to Manure this summer

    I do realise I am wandering into cleverclogs territory with all this

     

  5. 6 minutes ago, Magic Lamps said:

    another fkin pen. cant believe it. that is 16 now. madness

    oh, it gets better

    Henderson clearly fouled Watkins in the box

    pen?

    nooooooooooooooooooo

    Watkins booked for diving, and sent off (2 yellow red)

    it is insane

    • Like 1
  6. Just now, Vesper said:

    actually Manure winning is great for us

    it makes the Leicester v manure and Pool v manure games vital to keep their title hopes alive (they play both before Citeh plays another match)

    plus it pretty much ends all top 7 hopes for Villa, so when we play them, they are playing for nothing

  7. The Telegraph

    Friday May 7 2021

    Football Nerd

    Tired legs, less pressing and dodgy goalkeepers: Why Southampton are enduring a miserable 2021

    102x102DanZeqiri.png

    By Daniel Zeqiri

    Southampton were one of the Premier League's success stories before Christmas, but things have taken a sharp turn for the worse for Ralph Hasenhuttl's team in 2021.

    No team has won fewer Premier League points since the turn of the year with Southampton losing 13 of their last 18 and conceding a league-high 40 goals in 2021.

    One reason for this decline is the physical demands of Hasenhuttl's football in a hectic season. Southampton's small squad has been stretched by injuries and the numbers suggest the intensity of their pressing has tailed off.

    As was the case last season, their goalkeepers have been among the league's worst performers, conceding more goals than the underlying numbers suggest they should.

    Hasenhuttl's stock has fallen but he remains an excellent coach. In this week's Football Nerd, I explore the numbers in search of explanations for Southampton's poor form.

     

     

     

    The best of this week's coverage

    070521_KROENKE_ARSENAL_PORTAL-1_trans_Nv

    Jason Burt: Appointing Mikel Arteta was a mistake - but will Arsenal's owners sack him?

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    TELEMMGLPICT000257874240_trans_NvBQzQNjv

    Arsenal post-mortem: Sam Dean analyses in detail how Arteta could fix his broken team

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    TELEMMGLPICT000256460174_trans_NvBQzQNjv

    The making of Ruben Dias: Former coach and the scout who spotted him speak about Man City's defensive rock

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    TELEMMGLPICT000256513055_trans_NvBQzQNjv

    Exclusive news: Super League rebels will be fined substantially by Premier League

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    Fabulous Foden: City man's balletic dribbles are the closest thing English football has to Lionel Messi

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    'Should he lead this Manchester City team to Champions League victory in 2021, it will rank as his greatest coaching achievement so far.'

     

    Jamie Carragher column: This team is the fulfilment of Pep Guardiola's vision

     
     

    This week's best stat

     

    11
    Number of Chelsea clean sheets in Thomas Tuchel's first 15 Premier League games. No manager has more in their first 15 games in the competition's history.

     
     

    The week in a picture

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    No laughing matter: Spanish media turned on Real Madrid's Eden Hazard after he shared a joke with former Chelsea team-mates.

     
  8. The Fiver

    Mike Ashley and ‘dark forces’

     

    Your man, a fair while earlier.
    camera.png Your man, a fair while earlier. Photograph: Kirsty O’Connor/PA

    Gregg Bakowski


    NAME THAT TOON

    In a week when Manchester City and Chelsea exposed Qatar FC and Real Madrid as combustible nearly men and the world’s most expensive but underpowered over-35s team, you might think we’d end it talking about one of the above superpowers. But when Mike Ashley speaks The Fiver can get its job done in half the time, giving us the opportunity to hit the Tin early and wind up barfing into our fireplace in the style of everyone’s favourite “power drinker”. And so it is that Ashley has popped the noggin above his massive pile of naff trainers and Lonsdale tat to bark wildly about “dark forces” in football that have been, wait for it, preventing Newcastle from “becoming the powerhouse that the fans deserve”. Honk indeed! It’s the kind of blather you’d expect to hear from David Icke, Richard Keys or, erm, Ashley.

    The Newcastle owner made the claims amid news that HMRC had discontinued a long-running investigation into alleged tax-knack at the club linked to a fraud inquiry involving Mr 15%s and transfer fees. “After four years of the club being subjected to this investigation I am pleased the criminal investigation has now been discontinued,” cheered Ashley, who didn’t go into detail about what had been holding the Magpies back prior to 2017. “It is now time for the dark forces … to step aside.”

    It also emerged that Ashley has opened a can of legal [email protected] on the Premier League, seeking damages for loss of “profit, or alternatively, opportunity” in an attempt to reverse the decision that prevented the Saudi takeover from going ahead in 2020. A deal from which he stood to trouser a shedload of cash from Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund, a body chaired by Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. We’re assuming Ashley hasn’t read the conclusions to that intelligence report about the prince’s own dark forces. Or perhaps he has and doesn’t give a flying one.

    Ashley has been unfortunate to fall foul of the old “dark forces” before. They gave him an “unpleasant surprise” when a Big Website investigation uncovered that Sports Direct staff were effectively paid less than the minimum wage in 2016. And perhaps it was “dark forces” at work in his warehouses that led to a select committee of MPs finding that staff had been subject to “appalling working practices” and treated “as commodities rather than as human beings”. Like the little kid in The Omen, “dark forces” just follow Ashley wherever he goes. What’s the common denominator here? If only we could do the moral maths.

    LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE!

    Join Tumaini Carayol from 8pm BST for hot Premier League MBM coverage of Leicester 0-0 Newcastle.

    QUOTE OF THE DAY

    “Our supporters always want to support us” – De Graafschap suit Hans Martijn Ostendorp hails fans of the club, whose nickname is the ‘Super Farmers’, as they saw them off for potential promotion to the Eredivisie later on Friday night with a pyro-infused tractor calvalcade.

    The Super Farmers on their way to promotion? 🔥🚜 pic.twitter.com/2mD5oT0B4j

    — ESPN NL (@ESPNnl) May 7, 2021

    RECOMMENDED LISTENING

    Here’s the latest Football Weekly Extra podcast.

    FIVER LETTERS

    “I’ve made another wallchart to raise money for the Luton & Dunstable Hospital NICU (who cared for my daughter when she was born) – any chance you could give it a mention in The Fiver please? Since I started doing them back in World Cup 2010, we’ve raised over £28,000 for the hospital – all the info on how to order is here. Thanks so much” – Elliott Quince.

    “Re: refereeing misadventures (Fiver letters passim). Before my first game for the Dutch in Hong Kong Division 3, the ref told me I couldn’t play in my glasses. I told him that I couldn’t see without them and, what’s more, I was a lot bigger than he was. We were 2-1 down at half-time, but before the start of the second half the ref, and both his linesmen, told me that if I took to the field again I would be sent off. I spent the second half on the sidelines drinking Heineken (we lost 7-1) and by the following Sunday I was ‘contact lensed’” – Richard Samwell.

    “Never mind Ed Sheeran (yesterday’s Quote of the Day). Look at next season’s Harry Kane-sponsored Orient shirt! It’s got a Tommy on the front and everything. The poppy wars will be interesting next autumn” – John De la Cruz.

    It’s for a good cause, to be fair.
    camera.png It’s for a good cause, to be fair. Photograph: Leyton Orient FC/YouTube

    Send your letters to [email protected]. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Elliott Quince.

    NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

    A number of high-profile female players in Argentina have made allegations to Fifa of bullying, misconduct and sexual harassment against a youth-team coach working for the country’s FA.

    Chalk this one up for the fans.

    Ole Gunnar Solskjær is preparing to anger the top four-chasing clubs by giving everyone and anyone – maybe even Donny van de Beek – a game during Manchester United’s run of four games in a week after they booked their spot in the final of Big Vase. “I’ve got to look after the players,” he blathered. “That might affect whoever gets into fourth position or the [Big Cup]. That’s not my problem.”

    After a very Arsenaly exit from Big Vase semis against Villarreal, Mikel Arteta is starting to sweat. “I think everybody’s job is always under scrutiny,” he parped.

    Oh Arsenal!
    camera.png Oh Arsenal! Photograph: Tom Jenkins/The Guardian

    Emma Hayes has paid tribute to Chelsea’s approach for helping her team within touching distance of WSL and Women’s Big Cup glory. “This is the most special club in the world because of both its diversity and its togetherness as a whole,” she cheered. “It’s one club. That’s just the DNA of this place – and it breeds winning.”

    And Gary Lineker’s posts on Social Media Disgrace Twitter about the dismal state of politics could help him avoid a £4.9m tax bill, as part of a continuing dispute about whether he should be classed as a freelance worker for the BBC and BT Sport.

    STILL WANT MORE?

    Ten things to look out for in the Premier League this weekend, including a Big Cup final dress rehearsal, a bogey team and David Moyes looking to smash Everton with his Hammers.

    Chelsea and Manchester City deserve their places in Big Cup final, but let’s not forget the huge amount of £££££££s that have helped them get there, writes Barney Ronay.

    Even at Super Bowl-winning Tampa, the Glazers are far from loved, writes Dave Caldwell in a view from the USA! USA!! USA!!!

    Max Rushden on how the intense stress of promotion and relegation has the power to make fans feel their heart beat inside their foreheads.

    After that 5-4 loss at Harrogate.
    camera.png After that 5-4 loss at Harrogate. Photograph: George Wood/Getty Images

    Quiz! Quiz! Quiz!

    Ben McAleer on the fringe players looking to squeeze into the extra places in England’s bumper Euro Not 2020 squad.

    Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!

    THE MAIN STORY WASN’T WRONG. TO THE DRINKER!

  9. 6 hours ago, Fulham Broadway said:

    United have missed out on a proposed new training kit deal worth £200m over 10 years after the Manchester-based company The Hut Group had concerns about the supporters’ campaign to boycott the club’s commercial partners in protest at the Glazers’ ownership

    lol, The Hut Co ships a tonne of our clothing, etc we buy online from the UK

    they just sent this

    clearcut-dlx-backpack-black-p49225-623719_image.jpgclearcut-dlx-backpack-black-p49225-623718_image.jpg

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