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Joke Thread


jonaaibosk
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A couple were lying in bed together on the morning of their tenth wedding anniversary when the wife says, 'Darling, as this is such a special occasion, I think that it is time I made a confession: Before we were married I was a hooker for eight years.'

The husband ponders for a moment and then looks into his wife's eyes and says, 'My love, you have been a perfect wife for ten years! I cannot hold your past against you, maybe you could show me a few tricks of the trade and spice up our sex life a bit?'

She said, 'I don't think you understand darling, my name was Brian and I played rugby for Wales ......'

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That never works...I usually make a "choo choo" sound :ph34r:

there is actually a rap song about this !!

"Everybody look out Cause choo choo here comes the meat train"

To be found here for the fans: http://rapgenius.com/Jenna-marbles-bounce-that-dick-lyrics#lyric

ps NSFW :Goober:

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I work in a shop that sells hand grenades. However, we now only accept cash after we had a few incidents with taking cards after asking customers if we could have their pin.

-----

Paddy's firework party was a complete disaster.

"I don't understand it!" He said. "They all worked fine when I tried them yesterday."

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While my wife was out I decided to dig out my old vinyl collection and have a play.

I especially enjoyed the wet-look basque and thigh length boots.

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Silently I slipped the condom over my erect penis and unrolled it down the entire length of my throbbing shaft, never once losing eye contact with the young woman as she stared at me in wide eyed, jaw dropping disbelief ...

Then breaking the silence I spoke ...

"Yes, that seems to fit alright, I'll take the whole packet please ..."

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After the weekend's football Liverpool are raving about the SAS -Sturridge and Suarez,

As yet Man United are still trying to come up with a name for Welbeck, Anderson, Nani, Kagawa, Evra, Rooney and Smalling

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